I was a hard decision but one I felt I had to make. My mother had a stroke January 2008. She spent three weeks in a rehab facility and then was moved to a nursing home where her Medicare would pay for 110 days of additional rehab. The nursing facility was less than one mile from my office so I was able to visit her everyday at lunch and then again right after work. I am an only child so while her sisters and my daughter were able to visit her some most of the visits fell to me. After losing my BIL to suicide less than one year ago, medical problems that I was recovering from and a co-worker that was out with medical leave I was feeling major stress. When my mother was set to be released It had come time for me to decide her future. She is only 79 years old and while she had recovered somewhat, I was told that she would not be able to live on her own again. I had been at my job for close to 20 years, had a good retirement plan along with a 401 k plan. It took both mine and my husbands salary to live on. What to do, what to do? Since my mother did not have any long term care insurance in order for her to continue to stay in the nursing home she would have to lose all of her money and then apply for Medicade and possibly lose her home which would be her only remaining asset. After discussing all of this with my husband and my mother it was decided that I would quit my job, move mom into our home and I would become her caregiver 24/7. My mothers Social Security income plus a little retirement that she received would replace my take home pay. I thank God everynight that I was able to make this decision. It is when you have to make a decision like this that you realize that nothing at all is important than your loved ones. It has been a tough week and I am so tired but I love my mom so much. My husband is the best for supporting me in this decision. We may end up losing some of our things if we have to cut backbut it will be worth it.
I guit my job to take care of mom
June 7th, 2008 at 03:52 am
June 7th, 2008 at 04:47 am 1212810428
June 7th, 2008 at 05:55 am 1212814519
I didnt have to buy new clothes, cut my own hair, wore makeup only for special occasions and handmade gifts. And it worked. I was able to care for my dad for two years. He died this past December- and I am forever grateful for doing the right thing.
Hugs to you for doing what you are doing. You are a daughter to be proud of...I know your mom appreciates you and you will realize richer blessings than a paycheck would ever provide.
Be sure to take care of you...and make couple time for you and your hub. Good luck!
June 7th, 2008 at 11:25 am 1212834300
June 7th, 2008 at 01:12 pm 1212840764
Very best of luck to you. Thank God your husband does support your decision. You can make it work, just like Thrifty Ray.
June 7th, 2008 at 03:11 pm 1212847880
June 7th, 2008 at 05:29 pm 1212856144
June 7th, 2008 at 06:03 pm 1212858197
June 7th, 2008 at 10:51 pm 1212875461
Most states have a program to keep seniors out of nursing homes. In my state it is "Home and Community Based Services". It is income based, but the income doesn't have to be terribly low, and it can make your mom eligible for lots of services, like Medicaid, Adult Day Care, Pay for family providers, etc. I used to work in that field, so I know it is a great program if one qualifies. My mom was on it, and she went to an adult activity program during the day, that she loved. It was free, and they did lots of activities, crafts, received great meals, and did field trips. It was good for her, for socialization, and getting her out of the house to be with other elderly people during the day.
As much as you love your mom, you are going to need a break and need time to yourself. Been there done that!
You are doing the right thing.
June 8th, 2008 at 01:38 am 1212885532
June 8th, 2008 at 01:21 pm 1212927717
April 16th, 2015 at 07:16 am 1429164971