I have been taking care of my mom since her stroke one year ago. I have to take a break from this so I started looking for a part-time job. I have interviewed for one that I would love to have. I should know in the next couple of days if I am going to get it. Now what to do with mom. I don't want to pay so much for a caregiver that it will cost me to work. I usually just turn it over to a higher power and see what happens.
Viewing the 'Taking care of mom' Category
I was a hard decision but one I felt I had to make. My mother had a stroke January 2008. She spent three weeks in a rehab facility and then was moved to a nursing home where her Medicare would pay for 110 days of additional rehab. The nursing facility was less than one mile from my office so I was able to visit her everyday at lunch and then again right after work. I am an only child so while her sisters and my daughter were able to visit her some most of the visits fell to me. After losing my BIL to suicide less than one year ago, medical problems that I was recovering from and a co-worker that was out with medical leave I was feeling major stress. When my mother was set to be released It had come time for me to decide her future. She is only 79 years old and while she had recovered somewhat, I was told that she would not be able to live on her own again. I had been at my job for close to 20 years, had a good retirement plan along with a 401 k plan. It took both mine and my husbands salary to live on. What to do, what to do? Since my mother did not have any long term care insurance in order for her to continue to stay in the nursing home she would have to lose all of her money and then apply for Medicade and possibly lose her home which would be her only remaining asset. After discussing all of this with my husband and my mother it was decided that I would quit my job, move mom into our home and I would become her caregiver 24/7. My mothers Social Security income plus a little retirement that she received would replace my take home pay. I thank God everynight that I was able to make this decision. It is when you have to make a decision like this that you realize that nothing at all is important than your loved ones. It has been a tough week and I am so tired but I love my mom so much. My husband is the best for supporting me in this decision. We may end up losing some of our things if we have to cut backbut it will be worth it.
What a strange title for a savings blog. This is more of a what is really important entry. My darling mom is trying to recover from a stroke which will be one week tomorrow. She had moved from her home of 54 years to an apartment the end of November in order to be closer to my 100 year old grandmother and so I could check in on her more. She was doing great and very content in her new place when the stroke occurred. While in the hospital and eating only pureed foods, I was sitting by her bed and was eating my lunch of carrots, celery and ranch dressing when she looked me in the eye and said "I want some celery and ranch dressing". The way she said it, made me realize that to her at that moment that was all that was important in her life. Wouldn't that be nice if we could be content with simple vegetables. Would I give up my large home, big screen TV and other expensive treats for a more simple life? That is what my Dh and I are working on now. Will have to wait for home sales to change to put our home on the market but our future is going to be a simple one. I guess I could call it the celery plan.
God Bless my dear momma.
I took this week off work to spend time helping my mom who is 77 declutter. Today we spent most of the day just going thru her cookbooks. I bet we took at least 110 cookbooks to the city library. She kept about 12. I am very proud of her. I also convinced her to finally let me take the encyclopedias that are from the 1950's. They are all going in the trash tonight. We cleaned up her china cabinet which held more junk than anything else. She is feeling better just being able to let go of some things. She still has about 15 different types of bibles but did let go of a few. Tomorrow we will work on her stuff in the closets and dresser drawers. Her house is not air conditioned so today was also a reminder what it is like to like to live simply with nothing but fans going to keep me cool. I have became very spoiled .
My mom has to go the hospital tomorrow to have a test that will take 3-5 hours to see how well how well her blood flow is. Last week was when she found out that she had diabetes. I had used up all of my vacation days until June 1st but my boss is allowing me to take a PSF day which can be used with management approval for paid sick family days. This really made me feel good as I have to take her to the hospital and will need to stay with her during the testing. I hope everything works out ok for her.
My mother found out of Friday that she has not only high cholesterol but also diabetes. This was really a downer for her. She did find out that the problems she was having with walking very far is possibly related to some type of blockage in her arteries and may be very treatable. She is taking Lexapro for her depression (she still says she was not depressed) and that is helping. We had looked at senior housing on Friday and I thought that was going to be done deal but now she tells she it is too soon for her to make a decision about moving. That was hard news for me to hear as I wanted her closer to me so I could check on her more often. She still has the right to make her own decisions and I just have to accept that. I know it will be very hard for her to give up her home to move to a smaller place. It is just a matter of time.
My dear mom is 77 years old and I have always viewed her is being able to take care of herself. This is mainley because she is a caregiver for my 98 year old grandmother. Just in the last week I have found that mom is not as invincible as I thought. She has been having trouble walking and her eyesite is not all that great. She owns her home and some land next to it. She only lives about a 30 minute drive from me. I have spent the last few days going with her to doctor and hospital visits. I looks like I may be a caregiven sooner that I thought. She can still take care of herself but her home has gotten to be too much for her to manage. We are currently looking into a senior community. We will go in two days to visit the homes and see if she wants to move there. Our main discussion has been what to do with her home. Does she sell it, rent it out, just keep it in case the senior home doesn't work out. Her feeling now is that she just wants to get rid of it completely. I am an only child so I am trying not tell her what to do but only lay out the options for her. I would appreciate any thoughts that anyone would like to share. My mother really does not want to live with me as she is still pretty independent.