Tynana's Personal Finance Blog

I was a hard decision but one I felt I had to make. My mother had a stroke January 2008. She spent three weeks in a rehab facility and then was moved to a nursing home where her Medicare would pay for 110 days of additional rehab. The nursing facility was less than one mile from my office so I was able to visit her everyday at lunch and then again right after work. I am an only child so while her sisters and my daughter were able to visit her some most of the visits fell to me. After losing my BIL to suicide less than one year ago, medical problems that I was recovering from and a co-worker that was out with medical leave I was feeling major stress. When my mother was set to be released It had come time for me to decide her future. She is only 79 years old and while she had recovered somewhat, I was told that she would not be able to live on her own again. I had been at my job for close to 20 years, had a good retirement plan along with a 401 k plan. It took both mine and my husbands salary to live on. What to do, what to do? Since my mother did not have any long term care insurance in order for her to continue to stay in the nursing home she would have to lose all of her money and then apply for Medicade and possibly lose her home which would be her only remaining asset. After discussing all of this with my husband and my mother it was decided that I would quit my job, move mom into our home and I would become her caregiver 24/7. My mothers Social Security income plus a little retirement that she received would replace my take home pay. I thank God everynight that I was able to make this decision. It is when you have to make a decision like this that you realize that nothing at all is important than your loved ones. It has been a tough week and I am so tired but I love my mom so much. My husband is the best for supporting me in this decision. We may end up losing some of our things if we have to cut backbut it will be worth it.

What a strange title for a savings blog. This is more of a what is really important entry. My darling mom is trying to recover from a stroke which will be one week tomorrow. She had moved from her home of 54 years to an apartment the end of November in order to be closer to my 100 year old grandmother and so I could check in on her more. She was doing great and very content in her new place when the stroke occurred. While in the hospital and eating only pureed foods, I was sitting by her bed and was eating my lunch of carrots, celery and ranch dressing when she looked me in the eye and said "I want some celery and ranch dressing". The way she said it, made me realize that to her at that moment that was all that was important in her life. Wouldn't that be nice if we could be content with simple vegetables. Would I give up my large home, big screen TV and other expensive treats for a more simple life? That is what my Dh and I are working on now. Will have to wait for home sales to change to put our home on the market but our future is going to be a simple one. I guess I could call it the celery plan.

God Bless my dear momma.

Lola
D

My plan this year is to track every dime that I spend. In the past, I always felt that I had a good understanding of where our money was going. Eating out was Killng us financially and health wise. I did eat out today with a very good friend that I was unable to dine with during the holidays. Even though I ate out, I feel I still made progress. I ordered from the lunch menu - soup and salad, I had water instead of a soft drink and still stayed within my eating guidelines for my health changes. I know how important it is for me to leave a tip and I always do tip but it sure makes me want to eat at home - perhaps serving myself, I should tip me and put that money aside Besides the eating out, I also found a pair of hard soled slippers for my 100 yearold grandmother. I ordered them online from Cabela's and the tota cost was $19.83. I have been looking for a deal on them for a few weeks. I am going to have a no spend day tomorrow for sure.

I know the title may be a bit misleading but the list I am making and checking twice is not a Christmas but my list of things to change for the New Year. In the past I have talked about changes I was going to make but I never really made a plan for the changes I wanted to make. Now, I know you can make changes at any time so why wait for the new year? I guess it just seems easier to plan a certain date and work from there. Doing better with my finances is certainly up near the top but in listing my plans I am finding that I must concentrate on some other things in my life before my finances can really fall into place. 1) My doc just told me if I don't lose 20 lbs in the next six months I am going to have to take meds for high cholesterol. Now the way I can tie this into my financial goal is that I must quit going out to eat at lunch time. Fast food is going to be out of the question. Another benefit is that I will be saving gas by not doing extra driving since I will be staying inside at my office during lunch. My finances would be effected if I have to start paying for a prescription for meds. 2) Make more meals at home - hum - ties into the number one goal. We do spend alot of money on going out to eat. No more bad food at high costs. 3) Exercise another financial positive - I will not be spending money on new clothes as our office recently went to a more casual dress and I now can wear jeans to work - just get the weight off and I have plenty to wear. As I look at all of the goals I wrote down - did not put them all here I can see how each one will relate in some way to becoming more secure with my finances. I wish everyone the best for the remainging 2007 and an even better 2008.

A call from sil two days ago and brother is dead. He shot himself in the garage of his home. He left behind a loving wife, 10 year old step daughter that was crazy about him, two 20 something daughters and three precious granddaughters. You may wonder how this belongs on a financial website.

He had recently lost his job and like many of us on this board was in debt for things and could not see a way out. Even with the support of his wife it was going to take selling many of the things that were important to a certain lifestyle. We are only talking about the middle class keeping up with the Joneses' but nevertheless it was due to feeling that he had to maintain a certain lifestyle or his brothers and mom might consider him a failure. While this is not how we would have felt at all that was his feeling. He will be missed by everyone who life he touched. He was not a old man by any means but going to be 50 on his next birthday.

How this as opened my eyes. After we return from the memorial we will be selling everything that we can - items of extravance, diamond rings, big screen tv's, home three times the size of what we need for two people. I cannot let his death be without any meaning and neither can my dh. Perhaps not the best reason to downsize but finally the slap in the face we need to make some serious changes.

Any one who reads this that may be having the same feelings of hopelessness that he did, please talk it over with some one. Your loved ones will not be
better off without you.

Make some serious changes now. Don't live to impress anyone.

Please say a prayer for our family as we try to heal.

Just returned from the grocery store. DH wanted to go with me so even with a list I still spend more when he is with me. Today we bought a Batman movie that he was going to pay for with some birthday money he was given. At the check out he put it with all the other items....What's up with that. Although, I must say that he did not have cash but only a check for his birthday so hoping he will give it to me to put in the bank tomorrow with another deposit i have. Had to get another beetle trap. They are not super expensive and a must for keeping the insects off of some of our plantings. The rest was for actual groceries so I really can't complain too much. I am going to have to break down and put some things on e-bay to build up a money reserve for the next few months as their will be alot of birthdays, property taxes and insurance needs coming up.

It seems like I have no problem making clothing purchases or things for the home but recently and good friend and neighbor convinced me that I needed to do something just for me. My choice has been to have my hair done every six weeks this cost around $80.00 each time but does make me feel good. I also have started getting my nails done every two weeks with a pedicure every three weeks. I know there will be some imput as to what a foolish expense this is and I really can't agree with you more. I have found that this makes me feel better about myself so as long as I can work it into the budget I am going to continue. What do you do for yourself?

Finally, did not shopping that did not make me feel quilty. When I buy things to brighten up our home it actually makes me feel good. Bought two buffet lamps for our sofa table. Got them both for $50.00 at Trees and Trends. This was a good price considering the prices at other places. That left me with two small lamps that I able to place other places in the house. One was much needed in my office. I have been trying to get it more organized and it needed some extra lighting. Also found that I would use a wooden plate that I found for $10.00 to make a side table out of. It sits upon a large candle holder that I was not using anymmore. I was also able to use of golf fabrice that I had purhased about four years ago to make a backing to display some of hubby's golf markers that he had gotten as gifts. They are now is a nice display case. Don't plan on spending much on groceries this week as we have a freezer full.

Well here is my dilemma. My mother-in-law has family coming from Japan for a three-month visit. While they are here they want to really see the U.S. The first part of the plan is to go to visit San Antonio where my brother-in-law and his wife live and then on to Houston to see a niece and her husband and kids. This will be a 12-hour car trip from were we live with three elderly people speaking Japanese (which DH and I do not speak). This is going to be a very long journey. I really can’t get in the right frame of mind for this trip. We will be driving my MIL’s car and she will be paying for the gasoline, buying lunches, have a free place to stay at brother-in-law house so really not a whole lot of out of pocket expenses.

Why am I having problems with this? I guess it is just the fact that we are trying so hard to really watch our money and I know that we will end up spending money even though it should not be much.

DH and I do need a vacation but I’m not sure this is it.

Wish us luck.

Saturday night we had the neighbors over for dinner. It was a great meal and wonderful conversation. Today the men are playing golf all day and I taking it easy here at home. I got several books from the library so have reading materials I can relax with. Got my grocery shopping done so don't have to leave the house and spend any money today. Tomorrow may spend some time with with girl friend window shopping. No buying as their is nothing that either of us need. We like to get ideas on home decor and I also make jewelry so I look for jewelry design ideas. I do need to look over medical bills from my gallbladder surgery as need to see exactly what I owe after all insurance payment have been made. It will possible be around $1,500 but that is not too bad for my part after seeing what the total would have been without insurance.

We have spent a small fortune on eating out. Worse than the damage to our pocket book is the cost to our health and well being. I finally took the time to do a menu for the next two weeks and did my grocery shopping only with those items. When I did this I really do stick with it. One of the things on my list was a Mountain Dew drink that was needed for a dessert. I only needed six ounces and a single Mountain Dew at the store was going to cost me $1.49. My neighbor is a large drinker of Mountain Dew and buys it in the cans. She gave me one to use since we are always calling each other we find we are short an ingredient. Money saved $1.49 on this one product. I also went back to the local Hostess/Wonder bread store for items that are cheaper than the regular grocery store. This did not involve any extra gasoline as It was near other places where I had errand to run. I also went to Aldi's to purchase some items so saved there also. Stayed in my $130.00 budget for groceries. This is for two people.

Yesterday was spent with my DD at the local mall. Yes, I did spend money and yes I did manage not to feel quilty about it. I bought several new work outfits for my job. I had been wearing clothes that no longer fit me well and it was really making me feel not to good about myself. I did research on the internet about building a wardrobe the smart way so when I shopped I looked for quality items but did not pay hugh prices. I now have what I need for a more professional image. I now have a hugh box of items from my closet purge and while I have made some money on E-bay I am thinking more about hosting a clothing swap at my home some others in my circle of friends and family may benefit. I am using some of the funds from work OT and a yearly work bonus.

Yesterday was spent with the little darlings (grandsons). So DH did not play any golf and it was such a lovely day. He planned on playing today but guess what - it's has been raining all day. Our friend invited us to him home this afternoon so the ladies could visit and the guys could all play pool upstairs. We went to the grocery store and of course DH wanted to get a little somthing to take to the neighbor's home to snack on. He was going to buy two bags of chips (2 for $5.00) but when I pointed out that everyone would be bringing something to share and we did not need an extra bag of chips at home he agreed and got only the one bag. I am so proud of him that he is trying. H

I had a less than par meal at a fast food restaurant a few weeks ago and so I e-mailed the corporate office. I then heard back from the local restaurant manager who said he was going to mail me a $10.00 certificate for a free meal. He sounded so sincere that when I did not get it in the mail, I worked up the courage to stop by the restaurant and asked to speak with him. I get upset when anyone makes a promise and does not keep it. He was very nice and told it has been mailed out the same day that we spoke on the phone. When I told him that I had not gotten it, he actually right then and there gave me a gift card for the meal. Lesson learned: you never know until you ask.

I am loving this system. I was spending so much money on going out to eat and snacking. We were trying to save but could have done better. I set up the envelope saving system on excel and have been tracking everything and also set up out budget on it. Husband has gotton on board by staying within the spending limit. Instead of gassing up our vehicles to full we are both only spending $30.00 each time we are on empty. Better way o keep expenses in line. We have also alloted money for each catagory which I had tried to do before but had really not kept track. My DH just goes along with whatever I want to do so that is great help. I started eating breakfast at holme a homemade muffin and glass of milk instead of buying my usual breakfast at Hardee's and a large coke. It feels good to know I am no longer wasting money. We also have a category for for gifts and entertainment, liquor, you name it, any money that we are spending now goes in a category. Now I can really track our non-food items which were a killer. Wish us luck.

Ok, I know we need to be saving money but I bought this product for my grandson who just had his 4th birthday. I got it at Target on sale for $59.00 and it is the best gift ever. It is very sturdy, easy for him to use and he has been taking pictures of everything. I have never seen a child so excited. It is a digital camera that will hold 60+ photos and they can be uploaded to your computer also. If this is the only gift you can afford to give your child or grandchild for birthdays or Christmas it is well worth it. All my coworkers and friends who have seen this camera are in the process of buying it. Guaranteed to be one of the "hot" gift items.

I am actually excited to be working on budget this month. My son and daughter-in-law have been working on their debt by using the envelope system. While I have a lot of automatic payments I am using a envelope based system with my Excel program. I did not fill up the car with gas but only put in $30.00 which is what I had alloted for gas using this system. Normally, I would just fill the tank and not even think about the cost. It nice to see where our paychecks will be going instead of the ramdom spending we normally do.

I am a pretty good saver until it comes to my little darlings. The older grandson just turned four years old and we are having him a party in three days. Target has been seeing me alot. I just have the hardest time not buying him things. He is always so appreciative just full of thank you's It sure makes it easy to buy for him. State taxes are due in October along with car tags and yearly golf cart fees. I just thoughtAugust was a hectic month. Of course, I felt like I had to to buy a small gift for the one year old. Is love going to keep me in debt?

Ok, so here goes. I did a second mortgage to pay off some bills. One of those being Capital One. It was paid off on 7/28 and when I got my statement it showed that I had a credit of $79.00 due to the early payoff. Well, since it is so hard to get any money owed you from credit companies, I was ordering my grandbaby some new bedding so I just put it on the Capital One card to use up the balance owed to me - to clear it out. Well now when I check my statement the $79.00 credit had disappeard and in it's place was interest fee of $63.00. Go figure. It will now take no telling how many phone calls to get it all straightened out. I truly hate credit cards and will not use them any more after this has been taken care of.

Yesterday was a real spend day. Mom's 78th birthday was yesterday and so we hosted a party for her at our home. It was a cookout and just for family but still it costs for burgers, cake, gifts, etc. While she has most everything this year we bought her a blood pressure monitor that will be very easy for her to use. She just found out about six months that she had high blood pressure. One thing that came from the party last night is that while "playing" with the blood pressure monitor found that mother-in-law had extremely high blood pressure. She does not go to the doctor unless she gets sick and has not been sick in a couple of years so it was a surprise. She is 80 and very stubborn so next challenge is to get her to go to the doctor for a complete check up. August is such a busy month with someones birthday every weekend, mom, grandmother, son and grandbaby so we now just have to get thru this month and then can start saving more.

Spent the day searching for a dress to wear to a friend's evening wedding next weekend. Found three all on sale and shoes to match. Made sure that the ones that I did not want could be returned to the store. Brought all three home and tried them on for my DH - I really value his opinion on what flatters me. In addition to trying on the three new ones I also tried on a dress that had been hanging in my closet for two years. My DH choose the one that had been in the closet. He said he had always liked the way it looked on me. So final saving will be $200.00 the total cost of all the items I purchased that I will return. No new shoes needed as I slready had some to match the "closet" dress. Lesson learned: shop from my closet first.

Well we finally took out a second mortgage. Hated to do it but the stress was making me physically ill. I know some of what we did was stupid - such as taking a couple of bills with a low interest rate and rolling them with all the other into a higher interest rate but if things work out the way I plan we can be debt free in 5 or less years with some savings to boot. Will see our monthly payments drop by $300+ dollars that will be put into saving/investments and what I call keeping our head about water money. My husband was amazed when I showed him the total money that we owed. We had things to show for all of it but still when you owe it you can wish you had never gotton some things. A 10 thousand diamond ring that I did not have to have at all. My DH wears his plan original wedding band. A car that I'm upside in that I can wait to get paid off and then get rid of it for something more practical. Wish us luck, we are going to do it.

Today was a great day at the mail box. My free pair of Hanes underwear arrived but the best was the doggie breath treat for our great dog Bogey. When I got out of the car with the mail, Bogey was there to meet me. She was excited when I told her that she had mail addressed to her. Yes, I know she is a dog but she still gets excited when she gets mail. It's nice to get a little end of the day treat expecially on a Monday.

This morning Mom and I got started on her clothes closet's. There were three and they were all full. She was astounded when we were done. She was very good about getting rid of things. Found a few surprises such as a nice London Fog coat and a very nice leather coat that she had forgotten about. At this time my car is full, trunk and seat with clothes that I brought home from her house. These clothes will be shared with out local homeless shelter, some will go through a yard sale and some on e-bay. Mom still kept some things that I think she will part with in the next few months. 22 pair of jeans and she wants to get those pared down even more.
We also cleaned up her ceilng fans and other light fixtures. I have been very negligent in helping my mom with her house cleaning chores choosing to just let things stay the way they were since it was comfortable for her. I find that now she is happy that we are doing some real cleaning. It makes me feel better also. Tomorrow is a stay at home day for me to get my own house in order. We will work more on mom's house after that.

Ok, I finally bit the bullet and paid the POA dues. We were holding off on paying them because they simply increased them to pay for the people that were not paying. DH said this was not a fair way to treat those that were paying so we filed a protest. The dues are $150.00 per year which really is not that bad. The POA is now trying to do a better job. I have been really looking at the things we can use what money we have to go ahead a pay off. Will report on that later.

I took this week off work to spend time helping my mom who is 77 declutter. Today we spent most of the day just going thru her cookbooks. I bet we took at least 110 cookbooks to the city library. She kept about 12. I am very proud of her. I also convinced her to finally let me take the encyclopedias that are from the 1950's. They are all going in the trash tonight. We cleaned up her china cabinet which held more junk than anything else. She is feeling better just being able to let go of some things. She still has about 15 different types of bibles but did let go of a few. Tomorrow we will work on her stuff in the closets and dresser drawers. Her house is not air conditioned so today was also a reminder what it is like to like to live simply with nothing but fans going to keep me cool. I have became very spoiled .

A couple of days ago, I took a day off from work to take care of the grandbabies. I was really looking forward to spending the day with them but woke up with a horrible headache and being sick to my stomach. I did not want to cancel so I kept them anyway. Thank goodness they are both such sweeties so we made it ok. After DH and I took them to meet their parents, DH and I went out to eat. We went to the Red Robin and split and meal and had just one soft drink o was able to spend less than $12.00 for dinner. Yesterday, I did have a co-worker pick me up a boneless stuffed chicken that was $18.00 but it is going to make us several meals so it was not too bad. Today, DH was able to find two paid of shoes on a great sale. One paid was Rockports that only cost him $20.00 and they are new just being replaced by a even newer version. Also got DH to agree to drop the lawn service that we have been paying $50.00 per month for. Every little bit helps.

Ok,so now I am desperate. I have decided to try out this experiment. I know it will sound crazy but I am very interested to see how it works.

Here's my plan: I am going to ask everyone I meet to give (not loan) me one dollar. For those that do, I am going to take their name and enter their name along with why they gave me a dollar into my blog.

This should open some interesting dialogue. Would you give someone a dollar just because they asked for it? Would you want to know what they needed it for? Would you be willing to part with a dollar when you are trying to get yourself out of debt.

If asked why I need the dollar my response will be - that I am conducting a social experiment and seeing how willing people are to give a handout for no particular reason.

How important is that one dollar to you.

Ok, maybe being broke has made me lose me mind.

This Is going to be a very long blog since I have been busy the last couple of days. Friday night was our regular date date. We went out for pizza and actually did pretty well. We normally order a large pizza with multiple toppings for the two of us so we can have “leftovers” we also both order either a beer or a soft drink. Well this time we ordered a medium pizza with only two toppings and both had water to drink. We did get one order of garlic bread to share. We got out of there spending only $16.93 that included the tip and we usually spend about $28.00 when we go there. Felt pretty good about that. Even Saturday was not too bad. The pool at our development has been opened and so spent most of the day at the pool while hubby played golf. Nice thing about the pool is that you can get a soft drink from the grille area with free refills and that was nice can also get free ice water. However, I did get hungry and so paid $3.00 for a hot dog. Not real happy with that. Will take my own food/snacks in the future or just run back to my house which is only a couple of blocks down the street. Sunday was a different story, the cupboards were also bare so grocery shopping cost me a whopping $163.00 for two people. I had several coupons for free and two for one items but still overspent. They were purchases for the grandbabies, needed little swimmers for the 8 month old and a couple of toys and new clothes to stay at nana’s house for their visits. Did get some pool toys but that was at the Dollar Store so smart purchase there. I really did not make a grocery list – no time, but I did not using coupons and purchased as many store brands as I could so should have enough groceries for a few weeks. DH did some yard work for his mom and she paid him $100.00 he worked so hard I told him to keep this money – this is his for whatever he needs or wants. He is the saver in our home and I am the spender. He will probably have most of the $100 several weeks from now. Today is a new day and a new start on keeping on financial shape. Going to cancel the lawn service and have the house appraised to get rid of our PMI.

Finally Friday has arrived. My DH has been on vacation all this week so he has been getting some well needed home time. We often forget that way of the ways to take care of ourselves is to have some time carved out just for us to do nothing but want we enjoy doing. It's also nice that he looks forward to me coming home from work. Today since it has been slow at work, I have been putting all our known expenses for the month on the calendar. Good news is together we have a great income. Bad news is we still spend way over what we make. We are trying to do much better. I am cutting everywhere that I possibly can. One positive thing is I have eaten lunch at work every day this week. I used to eat out every day. I have a really good feeling about that. I also called and cut our cable down to just the basic channels. Now if we can just do more about our gas consumption.